Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
