He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
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We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
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My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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