You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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