Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
my sisters under your porch take her home
mondays should just be called national damage control day
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
This can only be settled by a dance off.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
