Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
