hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
