dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I need to align my fucking chakras
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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