AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize