is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
