i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
