Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
