my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Barsexuality is the new black.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
