dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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