Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
