Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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