Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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