Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I still have a little drunk in my system
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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