Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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