i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
