I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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