just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
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