He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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