My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
