i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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