I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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