HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
