Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize