i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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