enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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