Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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