We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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