i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
so let's talk penis.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
