Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Randomize
