I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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