So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize