Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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