how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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