You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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