Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
