oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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