We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
