If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
her vagine was all disorganized.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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