I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
