Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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