Are we in a gay sports bar?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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