Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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