remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
