is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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