As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
