The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
