Swine flu. Run for my life!
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
