she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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