I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize