He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
