I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
