i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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