he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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