Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize