of course. lets lasso hookers.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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