walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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