How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
