dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
