haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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