ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
