I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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