Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
