It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
