I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
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