he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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